For years, I've wondered about my worth.
It all started after I watched the movie The Joy Luck Club. In one scene, the mother tells her daughter a story about worth. The mother explains, "My mother not know her worth until too late; too late for her, but not for me. Now, we will see if not too late for you, hmm?"
The movie made me think: How do I know my worth, and how do I know it before it's too late?
Do You Know Your Worth?
Self-worth is how you value yourself. It's not based on what others think of you or the things you have (or haven't) accomplished—it comes from within. But it's easy to forget that our worth isn't determined by outside forces.
So often, the "stick" we're using to measure our worth exists outside our control. We measure our worth based on the X's on our to-do list, the number of matches on a dating app, the likes on our latest Instagram post, the promotions we receive—the list goes on and on. We tend to notice how our sense of self-worth affects us (aka those "I'm not good enough" feelings), but we rarely stop and think about how we're doing our calculations.
How we measure our worth affects the kind of life we live. And when we let other people and things determine our worth? It sets us up for a rollercoaster of emotions. That's why the best "measuring stick" we can use is one that we control.
Use a measuring stick based on factors you can control—not the external events in your life. When you know who you are—and you're pleased with the person you've become—you'll experience a sense of peace through life's inevitable ups and downs. You'll believe in yourself regardless of whether you've been fired, gone through a divorce, or failed to get a promotion.
I've learned this lesson the hard way. I'm a people pleaser, and I let that determine my worth for the longest time. I always felt like I had to prove myself as worthy of everyone for everything. I did things that made others happier than it made me. I did this so often that I lost track of what I valued.
Thankfully, I recently realized that this "measuring stick" set me up for disappointment. I decided that what made me happy mattered more than pleasing others. I'm still a work in progress, but I now try to measure my self-worth based on my own sense of self rather than how other people perceive me. Try it too!
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